It's a Beautiful World

This has been, hands down, one of the best weeks my girl and I have had in a while. Funny, because last week was one of the worst I can remember. You just never know which Elsie you're gonna get. This week, my sweet girl is back. Thank God for routine.

I have to remember, her "bad behavior" isn't bad behavior. It's frustration, stress and exhaustion bundled up into a nonverbal little almost three year old body. She's not able to say - Mom, we're out of our routine, we're missing appointments because we're taking turns being sick, the holidays are happening and my oh so crucial routine is out of whack and it's messing me up.  It's stressing me out. How else is she supposed to let me know? Her actions are her only way of expressing herself. I have to remember that.

Much too often, I try to force her into my world. 

Hurrry up, honey, it's just going to be a quick trip

Elsie, please keep your hands to yourself. That might break.

That floor is dirty, get up please.

Yes, that is pretty but we have to go now

Don't lick that!!

This week it finally registered. I have to stop forcing her into a world she doesn't want to be in. This week, I instead joined hers. 

Two "quick" errands = 5 hours. But we did it. Without incident.

The first was a grocery store. Through trial and lots of error, I've finally found one grocery store she can handle.

We get to the display of babies, her favorite part of this trip. She knows at least one is coming home with us. She unloads duplicates of all her favorites, and lines them in perfect little rows. This time, I don't rush her along. Rather, I sit down and help her. We play. This one's an elephant. Wow, you have four kitties! One, two, three, four. I hear "OO OO!" Yes! You're right! A monkey!! 

We're having fun. We're taking up half the aisle of the grocery store, sitting on the dirty floor playing with babies that aren't ours. And we're having fun. And I don't even care. I don't notice any ugly looks or huffs or comments, because Elsie's let me into her world. And in her world, those don't exist. When she decides she's finished, up we go and continue our shopping.

A similar story plays out when we get to the display of cars. "car car car car car car." Hey, look a police car. Oohhh, a mail truck - thats what the box man drives. Yep, thats a bus! ( as she's signing bus! amazing!) Neato! A tractor! That's what the farmers drive.

In the middle of our playing, a man came up and complimented her. From him, it meant double. He was the leader of a group of special needs adults volunteering at the store. He told me that she'd made their day, and they couldn't stop talking about her and how cute and smiley she was. We'd encountered the group a few times during this trip, and he said each time they would just light up and couldn't stop talking about how she's so precious and full of joy. 

The best part of our day was the next stop. A similar scene, yet again, at another store. All I need is a phone charger. We're there for an hour. Elsie's world knows no time but her own. Amongst other distractions, she found a Frozen microphone that sings Let it Go. She sings "let go let go let go," throughout the entire store, in full performer mode. Arms in the air, holding hte microphone high, singing in her best Princess Elsa voice. I'm dying to get a good video. It's the sweetest thing I've ever seen. She is such a performer. 

 

All this in just one day. 

How many of these precious, beautiful moments have I missed out on?

In rushing her from place to place, I'm not allowing her to be her. These sweet, hilarious moments aren't happening because I'm not allowing them. All I'm doing is stressing her out. 

I get it now. 

Hurry, rush, stress, appointments, schedules

Why would she want to live in my world when hers is so much better? 

Her world is carefree, and simple, and happy. In all the things I've taught her, she could teach me a thing or two. Enjoyment in all the simple things. The magic of a train roaring by, the beauty of watching the birds, the fun in being yourself and not caring, or even noticing, what others think of it. 

I can just imagine her sweet little voice: Slow down, Mommy. Life is so beautiful and fun, you just need to slow down so you can see it. 

Stop worrying. Stop hurrying. Slow down and live in the moment. 

I teach her as much as I possibly can. We have a teacher that teaches me how to teach her. Yet, this little girl teaches me every day. It reminds me of a verse my Mom had hanging in our bathroom. Perhaps there is a reason I saw it every day for almost 18 years. 

Touch us gently, time

We've not proud nor soaring wings

Our ambition, our content

lies in simple things

That pretty much sums up my baby girl.

In her almost three years, she has it all figured out. She didn't like our world so she's created her own. If you're willing to join her, she'll show you how wonderful it is. I've seen it, and trust me - it's much better there. :)